I recently heard a wise woman say, “If you want to be a successful independent artist, you gotta know how to hustle.” I’ve been reflecting upon those words and considering the effort I’ve put forth in an attempt to have some success with my memoir. While dedication is the most essential element to being a quality hustler, fate is always making key plays in the game.

I self–published The Accidental Virgin in November, 2021. The following summer and into fall 2022, I entered my memoir into a handful of contests for indie authors. It was subsequently awarded the Best Indie Book Award for Inspirational Memoir, as well as the Indie Reader Discovery Award for Chick–Lit. It was also a finalist for the IAN Book Award and shortlisted for the Page Turner Book Award.

I had been receiving a lot of positive reviews from readers in the year since publishing; now I had literary professionals confirming the quality of my work. This gave me sound belief my memoir has the potential to jumpstart the type of writing career I’m craving, and thus I began a quest to capture a literary agent.

I poured through the Internet and procured a list of 200+ agents open to literary submissions and 80 of them had specific interest in memoirs. I then visited each of those agent’s websites to view their individual wishlists and came away with 60 potential targets. Next up was an introduction to the world of submission guidelines.

There are layers to the submission process. Each agent requires a query letter, which contains a succinct, catchy summary of the book, as well as an author bio and a specified number of sample pages. Many agents also want a proposal, which requires a more detailed description of the book, including the story arc. A proposal must also include a marketing strategy for promoting and driving sales of the book post–publication. Some agents also want a synopsis along with an elevator pitch and comparable book titles.

I felt I was back in college, taking an online course in Literary Submissions. I had to learn the subtleties of each requirement and find a variety of ways to describe the story of my memoir. I spent a few days on all of it, and though I was lost in my attempt to develop a marketing strategy, each piece of writing was eventually composed and I felt good about my work.

In September, 2023, the submissions were sent out. If an agent was interested, they would request my full manuscript. Response times range between 6-12 weeks.

Shortly after the submissions went out, I was fated with a sweet opportunity. A locally owned and operated coffee shop in my hometown of Decatur was looking for local authors to feature in their monthly book club. After a few email exchanges, The Accidental Virgin became the November selection, and I would be hosting my first Author Event that month.

Having attended dozens of signings in my past, I knew the process of such an event and was thrilled to have my memoir be an object of such attraction. I selected the perfect excerpt to read, had a stamp made of my 17-year-old signature, and in the end, the event was a success. Many of the attendees were people who had profound influence throughout my life, some of whom were mentioned by name in my book.

By mid–December I had received zero manuscript requests from the September submissions. So, I decided to narrow my focus and initiated an online search for agents specifically interested in representing debut authors. To my delight, there were many, and I compiled a list of 20 potentials. Many of the agents on my list wanted “own voices” stories, which are books authored by and about someone from a marginalized community. I even found agents with a specified interest in stories about people with disabilities. I felt destined to pique someone’s curiosity.

In early January, my second batch of submissions went out. But again, 12 weeks passed without a single manuscript request.

This time I was perturbed. The Accidental Virgin may not be National Book Award material, but I do believe the writing is high-quality, and the story is unique to any other memoir I’ve seen on the market. It seemed senseless to have not struck a chord with one of the agents interested in a disability story.

I did some digging and found my problem. Agents reject manuscripts that have been self–published. It’s a dealbreaker right out of the gate. They assume my media market has already been tapped, diminishing any future books sales.

I then recalled an author friend telling me years ago the business of book publication had become focused on quantity over quality. This must be the reason so many agents require a marketing strategy, including links to social media platforms. I felt disparaged. Not only was my memoir being rejected on the basis of status, but considering I’m eons from being verified on Instagram and maintain an unconventional blog with a meager following, it’s unlikely I could land an agent with my manuscript unpublished.

I spent some time feeling downtrodden when the stars suddenly aligned.

For nearly 20 years, I’ve been subscribed to the newsletter Head Butler. It’s a cultural Bible from which I receive reviews on movies, books, music and an occasional product. The insights and analyses are profound and throughout the years, the newsletters have granted me much enlightenment. The writer is journalist, author, playwright and screenwriter Jesse Kornbluth.

An April newsletter included an open call for Guest Butlers because Kornbluth was undergoing surgery at the end of the month. He asked his readers to write him a letter about something they would like to review, and I was immediately overtaken by wonderment.

Over the past two decades, I have developed an artistic connection to Kornbluth. Since publishing, I have believed he would enjoy my memoir because it satisfies many of his literary desires and I’ve imagined The Accidental Virgin being the subject of a Head Butler newsletter. The opportunity in front of me seemed kismet, so I composed a personal letter to a stranger with whom I felt a deep connection.

I was honest and vulnerable, describing my insecurities as a writer, and giving an in-depth description of my memoir and the hopes I have invested in it. I wrote to Kornbluth as a friend and thanked him for bringing such joyful enrichment to my life with Head Butler. I then sent off my letter in an email on a late Tuesday night expecting nothing in return. Until I awoke Wednesday morning with a reply from Jesse Kornbluth’s personal email account.

I stared at the screen unable to fully comprehend what I was reading. His third sentence read: “You are a sister I never knew I had — I can’t say no.” He then wrote, “Let’s blue–sky this” and proceeded to give me writing instructions for a Guest Butler piece about my memoir.

Throughout my entire life, I’ve had a head full of wonder. This email exchange validates my daydreaming has been worthwhile. I believed I had a kindred spirit living in New York and by launching a moonshot, I not only secured my dream connection, but also landed an opportunity to introduce my memoir to a massive readership.

With his surgery a week away, there was no deadline. But I was surging with inspiration and immediately started writing. I had a draft completed within a few days, and just needed to wait for Kornbluth to be ready to work again.

In his newsletters, he described the surgery as “an oil change.” It was a procedure to remove “gunk” between his discs. He said it was the most common of spinal surgeries and had acquired the best doctor for the job. It was an outpatient procedure and he expected to be back to writing newsletters within a day. The surgery took place on April 30, but there was no newsletter the following day. I didn’t allow myself to get too alarmed until nothing came on May 2 or the entire week following.

My head and heart experienced a confluence of emotions. After two weeks of silence I couldn’t stand the worry any longer. I sent him an email lightly expressing my concern for his well-being. He responded the next day saying he was still hospitalized and wanted to see the work I had done on my Guest Butler piece. I sent a response with my draft attached, but there was no reply.

Eight weeks passed without a newsletter from Head Butler. I was stunned there was no update to his readers regarding his condition. On the advice of a friend who is also a Head Butler loyalist, I reached out to Kornbluth again in early July. He sent a speedy response saying he was doing better and starting to write again, but didn’t elaborate on his health. In the three months since that exchange, there’s been nothing.

Amid that cruel twist of fate, I kept my hustle game alive by landing another Author Event. This time it was at an independent book bar in downtown Champaign. I read the same excerpt as I did in Decatur and received a nice turnout with an insightful Q & A session.

Now, I have my sights set on Chicago. Considering a portion of my memoir takes place there, I believe I can find an independent bookstore in the city where I can host an event. I’ve had correspondence with two bookstores thus far, and though the shops in the big city are selective with their choices, I’ve grown confident in my ability to pitch. I also have newfound confidence in my work as an independent writer. And I’ve already developed a solid marketing strategy: investment in myself.